01.16.2013

I heard a rumor that Robyn’s amazing “Dancing On My Own” played for Lena Dunham at the Golden Globes on Sunday—of course, I was watching The Good Wife and calling—literally calling—Haagen Dazs to see what time they closed, because I have been so wholly obsessed with this Peppermint Bark “Dazzler.” (Limited edition! Honestly, it’s my nightmare that I’ll go in and they won’t be offering it anymore and I’ll have to pretend like I actually don’t mind eating a Mint Chip “Dazzler.”) Anyway, it seemed as good a time as any to look at the style of the most amazing singer of all time. (Literally all time, like since the Big Bang.) Take this:

I don’t even know what that hairy, button-up-the-back top is, besides the fur of an animal I hadn’t heard of before. Like a variant of a yak or something. It’s easier to understand what’s going on with the platform sneakers (urg) and the wildly printed leggings. But moving on to some of her other looks.

My favorite thing she’s ever worn is the pink dress she wears in Hang With Me:

Shopping list:

1: Wildly printed pants (see: Call Your Girlfriend). My heart belongs to these $495 M Missoni pants, but until then, I’ll settle for these, which cost 10% and are awesome and seem extremely perfect for dancing to Robyn songs. Forever 21 galaxy pants, $52.77

2: Scarf. This one has fringe, for extra dancing excitement. Topshop scarf, $56

3: Platform sneakers. These are as close as we’re getting to that. Chloe Sevigny platform sneakers, were $295, now $148

4: This is the actual sweatshirt (well, you know what I mean) she wears in the video for Hang With Me, which is some pretty good merchandising. Konichiwa Records sweatshirt, $42

5: Robyn wears a lot of sleeveless tees. These are our favorites. Good quality for the price: medium-high quality for a medium-low price. High roller neppy tank, $24

If there’s one thing we hate, it’s shipping charges. We know, they’re reasonable cost of doing business, but we just paid a $13 shipping charge for a $29 purchase (at The Dutch Store, if you were wondering, otherwise known as Connecticut’s leading purveyor of Edam cheese), and we did not like it one bit. So we always try to avoid it as best we can, whether this is looking for coupon codes or topping the minimum purchase. At Topshop, this is an annoying $50 purchase—or a $10 shipping fee. We are filled with annoyance and hate, at least as it concerns our afternoon’s online shopping. Did you know Topshop won’t issue store credits? Annoyance! Hate!

The real problem is that it’s also one of our very favorite stores, and occasionally we’ll do something like find something in the store that we really want but not, say, have time to buy it in a calm fashion before meeting our friend Heidi, and then we’ll get home and start freaking out that they won’t have any left tomorrow, a situation exacerbated by the fact that the website does, in fact, seem to be out of three of the four colors our prospective new duffel coat comes in. And since we can’t miss an hour of work to go get it in the morning (and believe us—we gave it some thought), we need to buy it online. (RIGHT NOW OMG.) At least it’s over the $50 minimum and gets us out of the $10 shipping fee.

The craziest thing about the Topshop website to us is that they make the clothes look so totally meh and still sell bazillions of them. Topshop bound seam duffle coat, $178

(By the way, speaking of celebrities in coats, we are totally influenced by TSwift in this one—it is Topshop, P.S.:

Anyway, two more suggestions for how to get over Topshop’s minimum purchase.

We love this dress—Mary Katrantzou on a budget. That skirt shape is to die for, and that pattern beautiful even if it sort of looks like something Snoopy threw up. Floral dress, $150

These are the prettiest shoes we’ve seen all day, even if we’d have to put them back in their box until April the moment they arrived at our door. Leopard-print shoes, $120

We know, it looks like this shoe is having an allergic reaction to something, but—eh. We can’t help what we love: Five Guys, sleeping, shiny platform heels. Zigi NY platforms, $145

These shoes … let’s call it love at first sight. Or: unrequited love at first sight, since they’re Jimmy Choos, and we are not interested (less interested) in selling our blood to buy wedges. These are, for the record, suede Jimmy Choos wedges, $455. (The dress, since we love it equally, is Miu Miu—but not in stock; click on the “Miu Miu top” link on this page and you can sign up for notification when it shows up.)

Since tonight will not be the night we spend almost $500 on shoes, we went looking for some suitable substitutes—and these are what we found.

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