J. Crew! Reader C., who was actually the one to suggest the life-changing Six Item Experiment, also suggested that we make J. Crew the next buying trip. This was a suggestion we had to take, as the previous one was ultimately so rewarding. J. Crew proved to be equally revelatory—both in how it derailed our Six-Item Experiment [now more or less the Eight Item Experiment, though we're back on the wagon] and provided us with our favorite skirt ever.

We went in expecting to not buy anything. We were wrong. Eh, not the worst thing that ever happened, and in fact there is the good news: There were loads of great things in store, and we would have gone home with more if we were buying less fiscally responsible than we have sworn to be.

This is the Cascading Cardigan ($49.50—on sale online for $38.60). A funny color and a lot of material, but: loved. A sad return.

Nothing special to see here—and it’s not available online, though for the purposes of this entry we’re going to call it a twisted-neck tank, $65. Verdict: return.

Equally, nothing incredibly special here—cashmere, but in our opinion, not worth the $158 price tag. We do really loved how it looked on the catalogue model, however—we might have tried a bit harder if we’d seen this picture first. Cashmere crew-neck cardigan, $158. Verdict: return.

We say again: nothing incredibly special, but the fabric was really nice—they say it’s “made of supersoft, superfine MicroModal®.” We disagree that “supersoft” is one word, but agree that it was, in fact, super soft. Microspun cotton tank, $28

We actually really loved this tee, which for some reason we decided we’d wear two sizes too big. But—$44.99? On sale? Verdict: pass. We can’t figure out where this is in the online catalogue—it’s close to (but much more expensive than) the vintage cotton henley, $23.60

We will discuss this in greater detail later today—this was voluminous on us (we missed the size-down advisory), so this was rejected. (Also it was about twice as much as it should have been.) We wished we’d seen this other St James top. St James Naval II shirt, $115

Our friend K. wore this t-shirt every day in high school (in different colors). We have the utmost respect for it, but though we liked it, it wasn’t enough to tempt us out of our Six Item monasticism. Verdict: return. Stripe pocket tee, $39.50

We’re pro-hoody but this one was quite bulky—why is everything so long these days? are we shrinking? Honestly, it doesn’t even look that great on the model. Haya pullover hoody, $65

This is when we began to get tired. This sweater: nothing special—what else is there to say?—and quite voluminous. The kind of thing you’d actually probably be really happy to get for Christmas, if you know what we mean. Cashmere v-neck sweater, $145

We actually loved this sweater—it was almost a keeper, much cuter in person than online. The price, ultimately, was too high for us, and we weren’t 100% about the shirring. Merino cardigan, $88

Now, the weird thing. For some reason, we didn’t take pictures of the two things we actually bought. This is a mystery: we bought a skirt we would swear is this one above, except the one we bought is $100 cheaper, and the style numbers don’t match. But as far as we can tell, they’re identical, down to the weird elastic waist—the only thing we don’t like about it, though not so much that it kept us from buying it. Yay! Metallic sequined bell skirt, $275

We also got this top. This is actually the most we’ve spent on clothes since January. Perfect-fit foldover tank, $29.50

Final tally: $152.50. It was worth it.

We don’t know: bras. As above, meh. But: if we weren’t so lazy, we would have Twittered this sentiment last week: “[We] need to remember that the no-bra look is not and has never been a good look for [us.]” This is true. Honest to God, we’d rather spend our money on cake, and we don’t know why bras should cost so much. Actually, our real problem (besides the catalogues, and the ads, and the 15-year-old Estonian models being marketed to 35-year-old American women) is the marketing that accompanies each bra. We refuse to believe they can be that different—that there is a meaningful difference between the Body by Victoria Bra and the Bra by Victoria Body, or whatever. It reminds us of this joke about how every item on the Taco Bell menu is a reconfiguration of like three different food products.

Moving on: We did learn something from our shopping expedition, during which we tried on over a dozen bras when we could have been making the world a better place/sleeping/finally watching the episode of Dr. Phil that we somehow thought was so important that we DVR’d it last week. This is what we discovered.

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If we went to the Gap with $100, let’s just say we’d be treating ourselves to a really nice lunch. Or, you know, paying [half of] our student loan[s].

Now: We love the Gap. We actually worked at this specific Gap, above (at least, before it moved from the mall to the other shopping center) while in high school, and we genuinely credit it with giving us the confidence to ask anyone we pass on the street if they would like to add some matching socks to their purchase. Seriously: When we volunteered on a political campaign, we were so inured to people being mean to us that we didn’t even mind doing the door-to-door stuff.

In other words: We want the Gap to do well. We are not quite so sure that it is. Here’s what we found.

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Forever 21 is the Topshop of America: so much stuff! So little money! (Meanwhile, Topshop (in SoHo) is like … eh, it’s just somehow not as exciting, the one here, compared to the one in London.) But this is about Forever 21. Whatever the weirdness with the Bible references on the bags, and God (speaking of) knows how many times we’ve gone in and left empty-handed, we remain solidly pro—and so we went to the Jersey Gardens branch, hopes high and expectations equally so.

We could have easily spent $100 on disposable accessories—jewelry, clutches, shoes, etc.—but in our opinion, this isn’t what they do best—actually, we’d say that H&M does better, or Urban Outfitters and Anthropologie at increasingly higher price points. (Or, of course, millions of industrious Etsy sellers.) Our mission was to find a shirt, which could be worn with shorts. Wide net, as it were.

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We were driving past the mall the other day when we said to ourselves: What would we do if we had $100? We would probably spend it bagels, and magazines, and that G2 version of Gatorade. And possibly a pretzel. However: What would we do if were given $100 and had to spend it at Old Navy? We figured putting this to the test was the best way of seeing if there’s anything good at Old Navy at the moment. This is what we found.

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