We were driving past the mall the other day when we said to ourselves: What would we do if we had $100? We would probably spend it bagels, and magazines, and that G2 version of Gatorade. And possibly a pretzel. However: What would we do if were given $100 and had to spend it at Old Navy? We figured putting this to the test was the best way of seeing if there’s anything good at Old Navy at the moment. This is what we found.

What we found, really, was that we would have had a lot of change left over from that $100 bill. The problem is that, of course, we’re looking for things that actually fit us, rather than are just appealing to us—there are loads of things we love, and that we have recommended here, that would look terrible on us, and so—we would not spend our $100 on them. This jean jacket appeared to make the grade, however—in fact, we loved it. This is the women’s denim jacket, $29.50. Keep!

Next: we totally loved this shirt, but we were between two sizes—and honestly, shirts with buttons sort of freak us out. Button-down shirt, $12.99 (cute, but apparently no longer online.) Return.

This is not a very exciting shirt but we thought it was sort of neat anyway. This is when we realized that this was one of the least exciting shopping trips we would ever be on. Hopefully. California t-shirt, $14.50. Here’s a sort of similar one online, and cheaper. The difference in prices between online and in-store is making our head spin a bit. Cali SF t-shirt, $10. Keep, unenthusiastically.

Again, this is so unspectacular, but we sort of really like this shirt, in the way you might like it when the mail shows up earlier than you expected. This is also much cheaper online! We’re honestly never spending money in a store again. Black stripe racerback tank, $7 ($12.50 in store.) Keep.

This shirt is so boring we literally almost fell asleep while putting it on. And honestly, we can’t figure out which one of the like 30 black v-neck tops this is. It is just that anonymous. We don’t know; everyone needs a black v-neck, but we just weren’t in the mood. Return.

Again, nothing special, but this one we sort of liked. Ruffle-tiered v-neck, $14.50 in store, $10 online. Keep, we guess.

Now these! These we can get excited about. Tank tops and denim jackets—that’s what we go to Old Navy for. Tank tops, $8.50 each

There was more—there were skirts and tops, a couple camisoles and some shoes. But nothing particularly special. Not that this perspective is at all clear from this post, but we really like Old Navy, and recognize it as a great place to buy basics. One, without which, we would certainly be lost.

Final tally:

• Denim jacket: $29.50
• T-shirt: $14.50
• Racerback: $12.50
• Lemon tank: $14.50
• Two tank tops: $17

Total: $88

We probably would have been happy with just the jean jacket, which is terrific—well cut, a great color, and the equal, in our opinion, to, say, the $198 Paige Vermont jacket. In this case: twelve dollars change to spend at Auntie Anne’s.

Can we just say here that we wish we could—actually, everything we're thinking of is too violent, as it involves honey and bees and countesses tied to stairway railings. All we will say is that we're pretty sure we throw up in our mouths a little bit every time Countess Luann has something to say on TRHoNYC. It's our fault for watching the show: We could so easily be watching Law + Order: Criminal Intent, or Shoah, or learning Spanish, or doing more P90X, which believe us, we are completely obsessed with. (Is anyone else doing it? Is Tony or is Tony not the real-life version of Michael Scott? (Tony is.)) She is truly the most horrible woman on our television screen, except for Ann Coulter. At least, she is edited to seem that way. For all we know, she's some sort of Dorothy Parker bon vivant, mumbling her way through absinthe hangovers, and this horrible snobbish nightmare thing is just performance art. We are pretty sure, though, that she is ugly on the inside. (For the record: Her husband is 15 years older than she is! It's a big difference! But it's not a big deal! Jesus!) We need to take a shower. (And it's "my" (i.e., the Countess's) "evening"? It's the cancer victims' evening, you fucking psycho.) Honestly. We're going to sleep at 10 p.m. next Tuesday.

Anyhoo. We will also mention here that we are obsessed with the way that Aussie judge says, "You're like a low-class version of Kate Moss!" Honestly. We don't know how the human mouth makes sound like that. We've practiced saying those words and the only way we can get close is to actually keep our lower and upper back teeth touching. We swear we're going to walk around the neighborhood trying to talk like that.

Too much Bravo. This is all to say: capelets! So adorable for spring, no? Palentine Capelet, $98

This is our favorite: the Marc by Marc Jacobs peacoat, now $129, was $428

If we get one stupid thing out of working all these stupid extra hours for our stupid day job that makes us, quite literally, hit our head on our desk out of frustration, please let it be this coat from Ben Sherman. We’ll even stop grumbling about having to train the braindead actor who wants our company to pay for his internet connection. At home.
 

Renzo Belted Coat, $289

-LB

We saw someone in basically this coat today, and an extra-long-sleeved turtleneck, and we were totally jealous. Our nature is to hope that she bought it full price, while we get it on sale, but we are trying to improve our clearly negative frame of mind.

MK2K bubble jacket, was $216, now $151.20

Honestly we just don’t know where to start with all this sale stuff, but as we figure it out, we will gravitate to the cashmere things, and the coat things, because it is still cold as fuck.
Above: Ella Moss cashmere dress, was $304, now $152

We have seriously wanted this coat for like a million years \ three months. That is a lot of coat for a not-entirely-absurd amount of money. Karen Zambos Vintage Couture swing coat, was $561, now $280.50

We would be fairly happy with this coat as well. It totally looks like she is not wearing any bottoms. L.A.M.B. bubble coat, was $485, now $242.50

This is not cheap. Chiffon! Never enough chiffon in the world. Or something. Rag & Bone swing dress, was $560, now $280

We swear these exact same jeans, more or less, were Oprah’s pick yesterday for slimming denim. James Jeans – Dry Aged denim, were $198, now $99

That is nice pair of black pants, well discounted, but NB they’re final sale so try on elsewhere. Helmut Lang stovepipes, was $355, now $106.50

Anyway. If anyone has any comments, we’d love to hear them. For now, back to our regular, though holiday-interrupted content. Sales! One of January’s leading features. We begin today with APC. It is a top favorite. And this shit is going to fly out the stores, if you will. Above: the hooded coat, was $686, now $343

These are "very tight jeans. We are sure they will be a lovely fit following four weeks of stuffing, gravy and cookies. V. Charlotte Gainsbourg, we’re thinking. APC very tight women’s jeans, were $140, now $70

There is something distinctly Belle de Jour about this dress to us. Lace dress, was $427, now $214

And this is so Au Revoir, Les Enfants, minus any of the horrible war parts. Schoolgirl skirt, was $244, now $122



This is the sort of thing we’d be like, urg, so boring, but then we’d own it and be so exceptionally happy. Rounded collar cardigan, was $214, now $107

We love half of this coat, and are baffled by the other half. Plastic Island sweater \ coat, $261

Ditto this one, from Charlotte Ronson. Those sleeves are knit (and detachable). This is cuter on than in the picture. Charlotte Ronson detachable sleeve coat, $497

We were never hugely pro-Charlotte Ronson—it’s the wealth and connections, we just can’t help ourselves—but we like this coat as well, even if it has nothing to do with the sweater \ coat theme here. We have totally come around on patch pockets, as well. It’s one big ball of positivity here today, apparently. It’s funny—we were trying to link to somewhere other than Shopbop for this, spreading the, er, wealth around, but everyone but them seems to be sold out. Charlotte Ronson Paddington coat, $338

It is the season of the sweater coat. We always feel like we want it to be the season of not-actually-going-outside, but every once in a while, we run out of lightbulbs and food, and outside we go. Ironically, we feel like sweater coats should only be worn prior to actual winter, when we’re not going outside unless in some sort of North Face. And then in spring, they just seem a little … autumnal. You know what we mean? Sweater coats for fall, or at least what’s left of it, light-colored trench coats for spring. Or whatever.

We like this one because it’s made out of boiled wool and thus won’t be subject to the same level of sag as its cotton cohorts. Above: Anthropologie sweater coat, $188

We love this one, even if it is really topping out the sweater-coat budget by more than a bit. LaROK kimono sweater jacket, $348

Topshop carries no sweater coats. We are not sure if this is a cultural divide or just good sense. We are feeling, like fanny packs, they are a particularly American invention. This is a designer sweater coat that we cannot afford. Mrph. We don’t even necessarily want it. We add for the purpose of reflection. If it is possible to reflect upon a sweater coat. Stella McC sweater coat, was $1495, now $899

We are trying so hard to find a sweater we like that is (a) not from Anthropologie and (b) not $900 and we are totally failing. Woodcutter sweater coat, $168

Er, we just don’t know. Conceptually: sweater! Coat! In one! We should love nothing more. And yet. And yet. Louisa sweater coat, $229

All these sweater coats and this is probably what we’d end up buying. It’s not even a coat. Scoopneck cardigan, $26.50