Oh, we wish we could be a wizard's wizarding girlfriend. We won't go as far as this Harry Potter Legal Age Countdown Clock, because we're willing to rob the cradle but 16-year-olds ... that's like robbing the womb. But we. Love. Him. Tss. And tonight we, and the rest of preadolescent America\Europe\etc., will enjoy Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Oh, Cedric! And Sirius. As far as fictional, magical boyfriends go, Sirius Black (but not Gary Oldman-ly; more like Matthew MacFayden-ly) is it.
What we would really like is to go to some sort of wizarding school, but as this appears to be increasingly less likely, we offer instead our tribute to our very favorite British-y things. We only want to be as much of a bad-ass as J.K. Rowling, possibly the only woman on the planet with the bank account to tell Steven Spielberg and his absolutely cracker Haley-Joel-Osment-should-play-Harry idea to fuck off.
Anyway, clothing is not exactly a medium, but it sort of is, so here goes:

1. Alice Temperley. If we were a member of the Bloomsbury Circle, and all our friends were sleeping with each others' husbands, we'd wear this dress while we stood in the meadow crying about it, but we'd really just be crying for dramatic effect, because it would be impossible to be wearing this dress and be truly unhappy. Sigh. The Rosa silk dress, $1492

2. The Washed Black Baxter Skinny Jeans are like Stella McCartney without the annoying Stella McCartney-ness. See? We loved her last weekend, and now we are fatigued. We are such fickle cranks, really. About $70

3. This is like the nine millionth time we've mentioned Jocasi, but we adore them, and they just opened an online store, and we don't get how repetitive we get, because they are so bizarrely wonderful. The Kepis medium, about $125

4. Love the Paul Smith stripes. Love bikinis. Love everything about it, except the fact that it is winter and we have nowhere to go swimming. Paul Smith bikini, about $100

5. We are not proud of our adoration for personalized Smythson stationary anymore than we're proud of our adoration for Cedric Diggory, but there it is.
II. Music. No Kelly Clarkson.
1. "5 More Minutes," Mull Historical Society. Please, please, please listen to this song, because you will love it more than you can even imagine.
2. "Do You Want To," Franz Ferdinand. We tire of the ambiguous sexuality but we adore the Dior Homme.
3. "Fit But You Know It," The Streets. This song is like the "Ignition" of last summer, but British, and sort of funnier, though "Ignition" was pretty funny, because doesn't R. Kelly, like, piss on people?
4. "Apocalypse Please," Muse. Oh, we wish we could be this sincerely operatic.
5. "I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor," Arctic Monkeys. We hate to dance. This makes us think we might like to dance.
III. TV
All we will say is: Season. Finale. Extras. Funniest ever. Not The Office Xmas special, but excellent, and when Maggie finally cleans her apartment, we wept for her. And us. And our own bedraggled apartment.