Product: Buxom Big & Healthy Lip Stick

Cost: $18

What they say it does: “Buxom Big & Healthy Lip Stick works three full-time jobs—it defines the shape of lips like a liner, fills them in with creamy velvet color, and then plumps them to their full buxom potential. It’s a three-in-one lipstick that’s quick and convenient for defined, colorful, buxom lips anytime, anywhere.”

Our review: We stopped buying lipstick a long time ago, because: We put on lipstick. We go outside. We drink Diet Coke. We have no more lipstick, but that weird, sad remnant of lipstick. We know we are in the minority on this, but we are too thirsty and impatient for lip make-up we can’t reapply without a mirror. So: Benetint!

This is one of the few products we’ve ever encountered that survives the Diet Coke test. It does! It stayed on, without looking … let’s say, “weathered.” It is, as promised, quite creamy and easy to handle on the application, and the color stayed nice and deep, with a matte-ish look without being drying. We’re not sure how the tingling effect works—we assume it’s the “Buxom” effect—and we couldn’t necessarily detect a visible difference in the fullness of our lips. However: We really do not advocate standards of beauty that do not allow for both full and not-full lips (Nip/Tuck viewers will remember “thin, villainous lips”). Just because Angelina Jolie appears to advocate a position should not render it law. Thus, the fullness part of Buxom’s promise to consumers was, for us, not an issue—but we were happy to see the deep, lasting color, which ably survived our human need for liquids.

In short: Pro! But it’s reminded us that in the eternal war between strong lips//soft eyes and soft lips//strong eyes, we must always go with the latter.

Our grade: A