Product: Stila’s One Step Makeup Primecolor

Cost: $22

What they say it does: “Save time and money with this skin-loving makeup that combines the benefits of a primer, foundation, concealer and powder in one luxurious formula.”

Our review: We are filing this one under “too good to be true.” Seriously. People! In particular, Stila makers: We do not necessarily need one product to do a thousand things: common sense tells us that when one thing promises to do many things, it probably fails at all of them. And this is—for the most part—our opinion of Stila’s One Step Makeup. (Mind, it also promises that it “diminishes the look of fine lines and wrinkles,” offers a “velvety, mousse-like formula,” provides a “high-definition, flawless finish,” and “smoothes away imperfections.” (It also promises to be free of parabens and fragrances, and we could not quarrel with that.)

First, we tried the Kitten—a light pink shade—which, we were told, was the best for the blush area. This is our question: primer is something we love, and somewhere we apply basically wherever one needs primer—nose, forehead, chin, etc. But why would we buy a combi-primer-foundation-etc product and just put it where we’d put blush? Why wouldn’t we just use a blush? Confusing. Indeed, Kitten did provide a “velvety, mousse-like formula” that disappeared into our skin about five seconds after it was applied. Not impressed, Stila. Not. Impressed!

We were thinking all sorts of negative things after this, but then we tried the Per Suede on our eyes—since among the many things this product can do, in addition to washing the dishes and mowing the lawn, it can also work as an eye primer. Now this, actually, was surprisingly successful, and for the roughly 15 minutes it was visible, it did a significant proportion of the things it had suggested it might. Then, alas, it was gone. Not, really, what we look for in an eye primer. Disappointed.

In short: Angry hissing.

Our grade: C-