Can we just say here that we wish we could—actually, everything we're thinking of is too violent, as it involves honey and bees and countesses tied to stairway railings. All we will say is that we're pretty sure we throw up in our mouths a little bit every time Countess Luann has something to say on TRHoNYC. It's our fault for watching the show: We could so easily be watching Law + Order: Criminal Intent, or Shoah, or learning Spanish, or doing more P90X, which believe us, we are completely obsessed with. (Is anyone else doing it? Is Tony or is Tony not the real-life version of Michael Scott? (Tony is.)) She is truly the most horrible woman on our television screen, except for Ann Coulter. At least, she is edited to seem that way. For all we know, she's some sort of Dorothy Parker bon vivant, mumbling her way through absinthe hangovers, and this horrible snobbish nightmare thing is just performance art. We are pretty sure, though, that she is ugly on the inside. (For the record: Her husband is 15 years older than she is! It's a big difference! But it's not a big deal! Jesus!) We need to take a shower. (And it's "my" (i.e., the Countess's) "evening"? It's the cancer victims' evening, you fucking psycho.) Honestly. We're going to sleep at 10 p.m. next Tuesday.

Anyhoo. We will also mention here that we are obsessed with the way that Aussie judge says, "You're like a low-class version of Kate Moss!" Honestly. We don't know how the human mouth makes sound like that. We've practiced saying those words and the only way we can get close is to actually keep our lower and upper back teeth touching. We swear we're going to walk around the neighborhood trying to talk like that.

Too much Bravo. This is all to say: capelets! So adorable for spring, no? Palentine Capelet, $98