As above:
Dear BS:
I know you said you hate V-Day, but I have a few questions and I thought you might still know the answers. Can you, or anyone else advise:
- Do I need to buy my boyfriend a present? My friend said girls don't have to buy boys stuff.
- Should I be disappointed if he doesn't buy me anything, even if we talked about how we both think it's a stupid holiday?
- Do you have some sort of money limit (be specific please!) for, say, a one-year boyfriend you really like but don't live with?
- Do you think Valentine's-themed underwear is good or bad?
That is all. Please fill me in!
Love, E.
Now: We truly hate this holiday. And we have said that while in and out of relationships. It's not bitterness. We like guys. We're not anti-guys or whatever. We just think this holiday exists to make millions of people anxious.
Anyway, in order:
1. We're familiar with this logic, though we think it's great if true. Until then, we're saying no.
2. Tricky. If you've both explicitly said you hate the holiday, and you've agreed not to get each other something, then being disappointed when he doesn't get you anything isn't fair. If it was left more vague than that, we're going to say yes.
3. It's a credit crunch! We're all about DIY and physical labor, even if the hours are ticking down.
4. And: yes. Always. Inevitably. Whether it's heart-adorned panties or "special day" lingerie. No. Never. Pass.
We hope everyone else will help E. out as well!
Above: Gap's heart hipster, $6.99
P.S.: This was so well answered below that we thought we'd share it here:
Dear E:
Here's what you should do when you're in an intimate relationship with someone: Be honest. Be yourself. Be real. Do you think it's a stupid holiday, or do you want him to bring you a big old heart-shaped box of chocolates. . . or both? It's possible, and very human, to have two conflicting feelings about it. Just give yourself a break and own up to it. "I know it's a made-up holiday that enriches Hallmark and makes single people feel like shit, but I can't help it: I love the fantasy of my man bringing me a dozen red roses." Or whatever. Your friend, by the way, is not encouraging a relationship of equals by saying gift giving is a one-way street. And in the long run a relationship of equals is much better than candy.
Dear E:
Here’s what you should do when you’re in an intimate relationship with someone: Be honest. Be yourself. Be real. Do you think it’s a stupid holiday, or do you want him to bring you a big old heart-shaped box of chocolates. . . or both? It’s possible, and very human, to have two conflicting feelings about it. Just give yourself a break and own up to it. “I know it’s a made-up holiday that enriches Hallmark and makes single people feel like shit, but I can’t help it: I love the fantasy of my man bringing me a dozen red roses.” Or whatever. Your friend, by the way, is not encouraging a relationship of equals by saying gift giving is a one-way street. And in the long run a relationship of equals is much better than candy.
I believe that it is a two way street as well. I bought my boyfriend a pair of nice silk boxers.