#1: We are thinking it is just us, but we want our perfume to smell exactly like Coppertone suntan lotion, or coconuts. This doesn’t (it is described as “a lightly intoxicating blend of sand jasmine, sea spray, and mandarin”), and we were very angry about it, but we will say that we applied it it our arm seven hours ago and it has sort of mellowed out and now we don’t mind it quite so much. Still, we want the Coppertone, which is aggravating, since we quite like many Bobbi Brown products and were surprised at being annoyed by this one. High expectations = the key to anti-happiness.

BB Beach perfume, $55

#2: And we were so entranced by the idea of Abercrombie-like fragrance infusion in our apartment that we thought we had had a very genius idea, and sprayed it into our air conditioner. At first it was beautiful, roses everywhere, and we were like: We are unbelievably genius. And then like three hours later—you know that smell that air conditioners sometimes get, in the garage or something? A little musty? It was that smell, plus perfume, like we’d awakened some sort of bizarre mold in our AC with our Jo Malone and then engineered it so that we would spray it all over our room. Next time, we will stick with the fan.

Jo Malone’s Red Roses, $55