2006 December » Bunnyshop

2007

12.29.2006

So there it goes, 2006. Here’s to a bigger, brighter, and ever better 2007. It is an idea that must be illustrated with this picture of a cat and a dog, commingling. We hope we will spend more money on clothes, less money on overdraft fees (fuck you, Bank of America, and fuck you again) and the same amount on wine, which means we will have maintained our one glass = tipsy, two glasses = asleep going-out style. We hope we will pay off some bills and still be able to afford one of the nicest pair of boots we have ever seen.

MXMJ button boots, $530

And we really, really, really, really hope we will get on The Amazing Race, because that will mean all of our dreams have come true.

Plus, the pole dancing.

2007: fingers crossed.

Back to even-better-than-full strength here on Tuesday.

And! We really are going to start sending out a newsletter soon. If you haven’t signed up for it yet, now’s the time. Really. Just send us your e-mail address here. We promise: nothing stupid. Nothing stupider, anyway.

To Do 2007: Learn Pole Dancing

12.28.2006

We were going through YouTube looking for this, but found this first. We know it’s like five billion years old, and we haven’t listened to the White Stripes for nearly that long, and we totally forgot how hysterical this video is. But seriously: It would be so fun to know how to pole dance. This is what we want, as far as random skill acquisitions, 2007: to know how to do our taxes, drive a stick-shift from Plymouth to the Gambia, and pole dance.

Our Favorite Fashion Haircut 2006

12.27.2006

We saw this eight-year-old at Forever 21 with a $2000 Luella bag and we were like: “Ugh! Get back to third grade with your mother’s handbag!” Ugh, again. We will not hold it against Luella herself.

This is maybe the worst picture of her ever (below), but we would really like these super-long, messy blond bangs. They are even longer and messier, and not framed on the bottom by the bizarre red coat, on the back page of the January UK Vogue.

Our 2006 Fashion Superstar

12.26.2006

We’re taking it easy around here this week, as befits our new post-Christmas dinner Jabba the Hut-esque physique. So even while we are so, so, so over all the end-of-year top 10 bullshit, we present our own … end-of-year top 10 bullshit. Er, not top 10, but top #1, because 10 is beyond what our cheese-addled brain can handle at the moment. But today! Our fashion superstar: Kate Moss. You know that joke about the Teflon politician, and how he’d need to be caught with a dead girl or a live boy in his hotel room? Right. Kate Moss … mm, we can’t even think of it. We’re thinking – “shop at Sears.” But then everyone would just think Sears is cool. “Fuck a sheep.” Maybe people wouldn’t think it was cool, but they’d—we’d—be like, “Hmm, never thought of that.” Er, maybe it’s just proof that fashion editors forgive \ also have showy cocaine addictions. And we’re not sure her career would survive gaining, say, 15 pounds as easily as it would \ has either highly publicized drug abuse, a junkie boyfriend, or, indeed, the hypothetical sheep fucking. Two steps forward for women around the world? Nope. Sort of amazing Teflon qualities? Absolutely. What we do love is the fact that unlike Tara Connor and her weepy Trumpian public confessional, she just kept her mouth shut and did what she does. Now that, we’re willing to say, is sufficiently genius.

12/25/06

12.25.2006

MERRY CHRISTMAS XXXXOOOO BS

Ask a Stupid Question, Ask A Guy

12.22.2006

In today’s half-there, half-not holiday publishing schedule, the Answer Guy answers the following question:

is it true that the more a guy thinks you don’t like him, the more he
will like you?

And the answer:

Don’t. Start.

But yes, if you are a betting girl, the smart money goes on playing these games, for both sexes. Guys are generally simple creatures who want what they can’t have. Being obvious in your affection and effort and intentions won’t generally get you very far. There’s a thought in most guys’ heads that if you are easy to get, you are not worth getting. This is sort of the rule on luxury goods. While we certainly don’t want ridiculous cuff links that could provide sustenance to a small village for a year, we are kind of wondering about them, even though we don’t wear gold. So if you (sort of unfortunately) think of yourself as a highly personalized luxury for the guy … being a little too accessible … not so good. Remember, guys generally want someone who’s just a little bit out of their league. Your demonstration of little-to-no interest says exactly that.

That said, be very, very cautious. The possibility that you’re going to miss out on the-one-you-want is high. Most of the time, that cursory blow-off indicates that you are so out of our league that we shouldn’t even try, when it might just be a little test (Note to the SF Marina Stalker: In your case, the cursory blow-off, in fact, indicates that they are so out of your league that you shouldn’t even try). AG believes that there is a moment, if not seized, that cannot be recreated, so the only way to go about life is going for broke. Roll for the hard eight — no even better: parlay the hard eight. Shoot the moon.

You will generally not be rewarded for your transparency and effort. You will go up to the boy, say “you fucking dumbass, you are it,” and he’ll laugh. At you. You’ll do it a hundred times, and then you will write to bunnyshop and say, “I fucking hate AG, his advice sucks, I am buying 18 pairs of ballet flats, too-tight bras and practicing speaking in spondic pentameter. I am flying to Paris and playing impossible-to-get.” But then that 101st guy, the one who was going to throw you over his shoulder, and carry you out of the bar and never, ever, put you down … well, you missed out on him.

AG knows that you are probably not going to put yourself out there. This takes some serious nerves (possibly psychosis). And the gumption to throw a dinner party so all of your friends can not-so-subtly interrogate your crush. So, as you are wont to ignore AG’s advice … even better than pretending that you don’t like him: being totally inaccessible. The best statement of inaccessibility, or so AG has heard, is being married to some oily beau hunk. And living 47 or so miles away.

AG has polled the boys, and here’s the summary: The girls we really, really want can do whatever they want. The girls we are not sure we want, playing hard-to-get can work. AG is sure that he can squeeze another column out of how to figure out into which category you fall.

Have a question for a guy? We know one. He’ll answer it. Send any queries here.

John Arsenault’s Beauty Salon

12.21.2006

This photo just makes our head explode. No?

John Arsenault, from his show at ClampArt, $1200

More From Danielle Maveal

12.21.2006

We love everything this designer does. And now: bunnies! Er, bunny. But still!

Danielle Maveal bunny necklace, $266

The Official Official NYC Store

12.21.2006

We read in Page Six how Liv Tyler “was seen buying a New York City Sanitation Department T-shirt, part of Mayor Bloomberg’s hip new NYC Apparel line to benefit the Big Apple.” And we think, we want to be part of this hip, new NYC Apparel line.

First: newyorkapparel.com is not what we are looking for. Neither is nyapparel.com. Why, why, why in the world is “new york apparel” synonymous with fetish things? We do not understand.

It took us another 15 minutes, but we finally found The Official Online Shop of New York City, and we were happy to be there. The top seller is the “DSNY Patch Cap” ($14.95):

Apparently—if we’re reading it correctly—this was what Liv Tyler’s buying:

New York City DOT tee, $19.99. Only in men’s sizes. That’s confusing.

Now, we don’t get why women’s clothes always has to be pastel. We’d like this (at top) so much better if it were just white, or navy. But otherwise, this is totally our choice. FDNY ringer tee, $17.99

Reader Mail: Hunting the Giraffe[-Print Bikini]

12.21.2006

This may be one of our favorite reader mail questions ever.

Hi Bunny,

I was hoping you could help me out. I’ve been looking for a giraffe print bikini for over a year with no luck. I want it to be sexy but tasteful. No string bikinis please!

Thanks,
Giraffeless in PA

This was one of our favorites because we we were like, “Really? Giraffes have a print?” So then looked into this, and discovered that, in fact, they do. Like in this Michael X Michael Kors bikini! Simple enough. Michael Kors knows something we do not. Okay, Michael Kors knows lots of things we do not, and we are going to wager, we know lots of things he does not. Fair enough. But this is totally cute! We had no idea this was a giraffe print. Our only concern is that maybe it possibly qualifies as a string bikini, but as far as we are concerned, the string aspect is troublesome when the strings are on the actual bikini bottom part, rather than the top, which we at least don’t mind at all.

MXMK giraffe print bikini (top and bottom), $98

Here is a giraffe for reference.

Now we feel a little stupid, because obviously this giraffe has a print. You know, a pattern to his actual furry skin stuff. Whatever.

We don’t know why this one is green. We’re offering it as a reference point. Er … okay.

Classic wildlife bikini, $44.50

These may be the only two giraffe-print bikinis in the universe. They are, in any case, the only two we could find. We advise the first. And now: have a question? Please send it our way!

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