This is, without a doubt, our favorite Reader Question Wednesday of all time.

The question:

Dear Bunnyshop,

I never, ever wash my jeans. It’s a little gross, I know, but I’ve always found that jeans are just never the same again after they’ve been washed. They’re always a little bit stiff, a little more prone to stretch, and overall, just not as great anymore. But the smell starting to emanate from my denim tells me that a washing is becoming pretty necessary (I, uh, won’t tell you when I bought these jeans, but let’s just say it’s been awhile).

Any advice on the best way to clean them to help them retail their denim goodness? Would shelling out for dry cleaning help?

Thanks!

This was our favorite question ever for many reasons. One, it did not involve Mischa Barton. We will not answer any question involving Mischa Barton. For another, this is a subject we have often struggled with ourselves. We recently, with an extremely heavy heart, washed our very favorite Topshop Baxter jeans, which already required a few minutes of deep-knee bends before we could wriggle into them. We were already dreading the morning-after-wash wear, but we soldiered on, did our deep knee bends, and split the zipper seam down the side. We suppose we could take them to the tailor’s, but we had them fix a broken zipper last year on a different, equally defective pair of jeans. We do not want our tailor shaking his head when we walk by his store, muttering, “Stupid fat girl and her undersized jeans.” We know. Our moxie-less-ness is horrifying.

Anyway, back to how not to destroy your favorite jeans. We decided to go to the source, and or source for most things denim is Levi’s, in that apple pie Americana way. And Amy Jasmer, a Levi’s spokesperson, was lovely enough to answer us. We know, we can’t believe it either.

“There’s a couple things you can do if you don’t want to wash them. If you do wash them wash, them inside out in cold water, then line dry them. But some people never wash them. You can definitely dry clean them—just instruct your dry cleaner to do it that way, otherwise they’ll wash them. And then if you don’t want to do that either, some people will use Febreze.”

Really?

“Febreze will break down any odor, and a hot iron will restore that really lovely finish. Jeans can take high heat.”

It seems sort of weird to Febreze something that goes next to your skin. Is that safe?

“That I can’t answer. If you don’t use Febreze, some people will use Lysol.”

That just seems completely insane. So what do you use?

“I wash them, or if I don’t wash them, I’ll dry clean them.”

Now we know. We would never, in 100,000 years, guessed the thing with the Febreze. We e-mailed them to make sure it was okay to, like, spray it basically on your legs, but have not heard back. We are not entirely surprised.

UPDATE! Our friendly Febreze customer service representative says:

Febreze Fabric Refresher is safe to use on almost all fabrics, including your jeans. On items that may water spot (such as some silks and rayon), we recommend testing Febreze in an area that isn’t easily seen before using. We do not recommend using it on leather, fur, or suede.

Mary Lee
Febreze Team

We welcome your questions, Febreze-related or not.

At top: the Drainpipe Skinny jeans, $40, and Capital E Swank Boot jeans, $69

Is it time to take the money-print-mini-dress out of the closet? It may be, because the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are looking for hoi polloi participation in their new video for a song called “Cheated Hearts,” which we’ve never heard but is sure is quite good, as we sort of lost all our YYY enthusiasm about a year and a half ago. Except for K.O’s house designer, Christian Joy, who remains brilliant.

Anyway, because we probably all have that A Star Is Born thing inside of us for the right band (Shakira!), here are the rules. Key instructions:

2) Dress the part!

4) Get lost in the song make it YOURS.

7) IMPORTANT: AT LEAST HALF OF YOUR PERFORMANCE SHOULD BE AGAINST A WHITE WALL, or sheet. SO DO IT ONCE IN FRONT OF A WHITE WALL AND ONCE ANYWAY YOU WANT.

In the credit\credit-due category: We found this on the exceptionally with-it Stereogum.

In today’s Ask the Stylist:

I’m heading to Bonnaroo (the music festival in Tennessee) in a few weeks. I want new outfits for it – accessories, a bag, etc. I’d like to look more hip than hippie (though I don’t mind the woodstock vibe). I’m afraid heels are probably out. Also, it’s promising to be hot!
Maybe along the lines of (i’m sorry, i know you’re anti-) Nicole Richie here, but less…well…Nicole Richie, if you know what I mean? Perhaps closer to Kate Moss at the Glastonbury music festival but with less leg?

Now that, we agree, is a quandary: How to enter the hippie kingdom without getting all tie-dyed and high-waisted, tapered-leg jeans and those awful sandals with the big, wide straps across the foot. Moving on:

“What I would suggest is really simple: shorts, loose, tunic-y tops, a bikini, and lots of jewelry. As far as the general vibe is concerned, I would think more Talitha Getty than Nicole Richie, even though I actually quite like her look here. The Sunday Times has an absolutely brilliant portfolio of these rich-hippie bikini-jewelry looks in their Style section, and it’s online here—definitely check it out.”

“I love this bikini, and the chunky jewelry it’s worn with. It’s Betty Jackson, so if you’re in London, you’re in luck. Personally, this is the one element I wouldn’t mind spending a bit more money on, because it never hurts to feel really good about the bikini you’re in.”

This is Pucci’s tie-front bikini, $249, and Pucci’s hibiscus string bikini, $255.

“Alternately, a fun, graphic print like this Roxy halter-top bikini could probably work just as well and would only cost $42.”

“For bottoms, I really prefer short shorts to the long versions if you’re under 5′ 11″—I hope these are long enough; Kate’s really wearing something almost panty-length in these photos. If you’re looking for something higher-end, I would go with something from either Johnson or Trovata.” Trovata navy blue cord shorts, $110, or Johnson army green cuffed shorts, $220

“Otherwise, I would go with a super-basic, super-short denim mini from whatever mall store is handiest and cheapest—I like this one from American Eagle.” Painted Desert denim mini, $29.95

“Then, the tunic. I love this one from J. Crew. $98 isn’t exactly cheap, but you’d get a lot of mileage out of it.” Embroidered Tulum tunic, $98

“This is a more expensive option, but it’s beautiful.” Balsam chiffon top, $273.77

“Obviously you’re going to want shoes you can completely trash. I haven’t been to Bonnaroo, but I have been to Glastonbury, where of course it’s all about the Wellies.” [See at top. That's Keira Knightley looking like a big pudding in the second photo, but also wearing Wellingtons. Not her best look.]

These are Hunter Classics, $120

“Bonnaroo is not Glastonbury, not least because you’re talking about summer weather in Tennessee versus summer weather in the UK. If you can bear the thought of exposing your feet to the elements, I would definitely go with a flat, Grecian sandal, and I would spend absolutely no money on it, since they’re probably going to get trashed.” Maris ring sandal from Payless, $16.99, and the Resort Glitter thong, $14.99. “I just wore the resort glitter thongs to a beach-y wedding, and they were perfect.”

Who would have thought? Well, besides Star Jones. Do you have a question for our stylist? She’s here, and waiting. E-mail us right here.

Metaphorically, we are under that umbrella with a pina colada, the best of all rum-based drinks. Realistically, in Brooklyn, staring out the window, with a Diet Coke, which we do not entirely trust. Hmm. Maybe, if we were really industrious about it, we could figure out how to make pina coladas in our apartment. Now that would be awesome.

Until then, this is one of the best things we have ever seen.

This was going to be a story about beach-y make-up, but then we read in the New York Times about how all these French women are making fun of Americans because we wear more make-up than them. Er, to be clear, because we look like we wear more make-up than them. This piece offers more evidence (as if any was needed, but bear with us) that the no make-up look is actually the most time- and product-intensive at all. (“To women in France, the too-made-up look represents something more profound than simply one’s taste in skin care. It is also the mark of the desperate housewife type who tries too hard.”)

Key passage: “‘The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion’ is the famous quotation of the designer Yves Saint Laurent. ‘But cosmetics are easier to buy.’”

This is when we went to Sephora and said, “We want to use as many products as possible to achieve a no-make-up look. What do you recommend?” Our Sephora customer service representative really enjoyed this, you can tell.

“Well, I guess you wouldn’t be able to see any of your skin-care regimen. I use this Soy Formula cleanser from Fresh….” Fresh Soy FormulaFace Cleanser, $38

“I still use the sugar scrub for my face, too. Not the body one—it’s too pricey, and you go through it too quickly.” Fresh Sugar Face Polish, $55

“When my pores start getting back and nasty, I either use Kiehl’s Rare Earth Cleansing Masque….

“Or Dr. Brandt’s Pore Effect, which is unbelievably awesome.” Dr. Brandt Skincare Pore Effect, $55

“At night, instead of the tinted moisturizer, I use Prescriptives’ Fast-Acting Moisturizer ($40) and Super Line Preventor ($47.50).

“I’m totally into Korres’s suncare package, even though the only product I use is the watermelon sunscreen.” Korres Suncare Set, $28.50

“And then I hate how foundation looks, so I wear tinted moisturizer. I’m convinced they’re all pretty much the same, so I always use Sephora’s brand , which is pretty cheap ($18). Or sometimes if I get self-conscious about my nose looking red, I’ll buy Murad’s Redness Therapy ($34), which is awesome, too. When I used to wear foundation, it was because of that, but now, I never need it.”

“People walk out of here looking like absolute clowns, but when you’re not an idiot, Tarte’s Bronze Goddess is impossible to mess up, plus it just looks like you got a tan.” Tarte Cheek Stain, $$28

“I don’t think lip plumpers should count.” Oh, really? “Well, they can look a little fake, but not really. It’s not like bright orange lipstick or something gross like that.” Says the website: “Lip Injection’s patented formula is based on medically-proven blood vessel dilating technology touted to create the sexiest, pout this side of a plastic surgeon’s office!” Honestly, it sounds like voodoo to us. Too Faced Lip Injection, $18.50

“I think gloss looks really fake, so this is a lip stain. Becca’s Beach Tint is so subtle you’d never think it was make-up. It keeps selling out so if you see it, you should buy it.” Bonus: watermelon scent! Becca Beach Tint, $22

We feel totally ill not reaching for the darkest, goth-est black mascara within arm’s distance, but that is, unfortunately, not the point today. “This is actually transparent, so … there you go. This wouldn’t be my top choice, I guess, but you’ll never have to worry about it at the beach.” Make Up For Ever Transparent Mascara, $18

Ca suffit, nous croyons.

We cannot, to be sure, afford anything from the Burberry trunk show, particularly not this $22,020 alligator bag.

We still find a $22,000 handbag less disturbing than the prospect of Britney Spears: fashion designer. Seriously, of what would that line consist? Tube tops? Sequined bodysuits? And the accessories line: your very own baby!

It’s sale time at Intermix, which happens to be the only time of the year we can afford to shop there. So: hurrah! Sales. Pre-that whole summer sale madness when we think we are going to be buying all this stuff and come home from Selfridge’s with an Aveda hair conditioner that would have cost us three dollars less if we’d bought it at our “home mall” in New Jersey. Shouldn’t everyone, by the way, have a home mall? Sort of like a hometown, or the baseball team you cheer for? We have been on the East Coast for a total of four days, and we have already eaten more grease and cheese and dough than we had in the last four months. Oh, California, we do not miss you, but we do miss the walking-distance Whole Foods and your delicious green beans, which we are going to attempt to recreate tonight at the perilous post-Lost hour. We say perilous because when we fuck them up we are going to go to sleep pissed off and hungry.

Moving on. Love, love, love this Miguelina top. Love, love, love. We have no caveats. The Patia halter, was $240, now $139

By the way, how funny was it that there were ninjas on 24, except they were Chinese? You know one of the writers was like, “It’d be so much nicer if ninjas were Chinese, but … let’s go with it anyway.” These are the most normal, most trend-proof jeans they have. Notify stretch jeans, were $188, now $99

We saw someone we’re related to wearing a bubble skirt and leggings, and we were so jealous we almost made her trade us for the Topshop jeans we were wearing. Until we were like: Topshop jeans! Double hurrah! We consider this a rare fashion victory. Binetti Sampan bubble skirt, was $235, now $139

Sometimes you just need a black dress you don’t have a real emotional attachment to. This could be that dress. Plus, is looks like it’d be pretty forgiving after the kind of carb-and-pizza binge we’ve been on the last few days. Catherine Malandrino slip dress, was $255, now $149

Depending on the boob-droop factor, this could be either fabulous or extremely, extremely depressing. Bela silk charmeuse tank, was $225, now $99

Luella. Almost half off. If you’re into the hippie-ness, it’s the deal of a lifetime. Luella handbag, was $1195, now $699

Saw this on Luxist, and we were all, I Heart LA? What the fuck? Who hearts LA? We were in a car recently with someone from Los Angeles, and for some reason we were feeling very bilious about LA, something like “LA is the biggest cess pool on the planet,” nevermind if someone said that about New York we would push them out of the car, “and [we] just hate anyone from there, they have no values, they are responsible for half the anti-Americanism around the planet with their shitty, soul-killing movies about stripper teenagers having sex with each other—” And our friend was all, sort of sheepishly, “I’m from LA.” Not like he was being feisty and combative, but like his feelings were a little hurt. We felt very asshole-y.

Actually, the last time we were in LA, when we weren’t being dissed by a hip hop star, we had quite a nice time. Lovely weather, and the first Zadig et Voltaire boutique in the US. They kept the store open for us while we tried on three pairs of jeans and a beautiful green sweater, none of which we bought.

Still, we can’t deal with these. The designer has plenty of other, lovely things, like this hammered gold necklace ($230 in 14K gold, it’s the one on the bottom). But. Argh.

So many thanks to Pupok for pointing out Paris Hilton’s “sluttification” (ha!) of that poor Missoni dress. Our search continues, elsewhere, in less skankified quarters.

Image from Perez Hilton.

One of our favorite-ever brands, and frequent helper-outer of our contests:

Above, the Shush weekender, which we love particularly for not being the “Jitney” or the “Bridgehampton” or something else that makes us want to kill people, about $250

That’s the Banus, about $180

And the Madagascan, about $250