The thing is, it’s not like we’re pro-fur. Or anti-fur. We’re pro-bunnies and pro-dogs, and maybe we’ll pick a position at the point when we could, in fact, actually afford fur. Until then, it’s like being anti-gold rings, or anti-fairy-tale-plum pudding, or anti-lemon-shortcake-castle. It’s just not available to us, and until it is, we need to sort out more pressing concerns, like how to get a student loan deferral.

The thing, getting back to it, is that we don’t like ex-models who married well from another country telling us where to shop. Really, it is “ex-models who married well” part that bugs us the most, but can’t she go protest Selfridge’s or something, if she’s really that set on boycotting someone? Believe us, we’d be just as annoyed if Pamela Anderson was organizing boycotts of River Island or Next or something.

We propose a truce: We won’t ship you any of our crap, any of our Jerry Bruckheimer movies, any more Starbucks, any more McDonalds, any more Lindsay Lohans. Oh, and our president, until we get a new one. We’ll stop shipping you our crap. And you agree to keep Heather Mills McCartney from mouthing off about J. Crew.

We close by adding that if HMMcC suggested boycotting Abercrombie, this whole posting would have been about how great and cool and awesome she is.

What’s weird, and not a little annoying, is that some of their new fall stuff is excellent, and even showed up in the new Elle. But none of that’s online yet. It was also super pricey, and if it hadn’t been for Heather’s freak-out, this whole post would have been about how J. Crew is high if they think we’re paying $1200 or whatever for a jacket. From J. Crew. But then Heather had to go and attack them, and now we’re feeling all protective.

However, crucially, we got to J. Crew and everything there sucked. This has been a freaking roller coaster ride of emotion.

Oh, see, this is what we’re talking about. A $2900 charm bracelet from J. Crew? Little weird, no?

Noting that we still believe in buying a designer ready-to-wear dress before an actual price-jacked-up wedding dress — seriously, the bridal industry is a bigger racket than the Mafia — J. Crew actually makes some excellent substitutes for the open-minded bridal, like this limited edition satin gown, $1800

Maybe HMMcC’s problem actually didn’t have anything to do with fur, but was some sort of cultural protest over these “printed wellies.” Could we really blame her if that were true?

Okay, this cheetah belt should definitely be protested, but not because it’s made of fur. Because it’s revolting. $68