As we watch the snow tumble endlessly, cruelly, to the ground, Bunnyshop is reminded of one thing: How much she hates Uggs. She also hates the cold. Uggs, cold, Uggs, cold, Uggs, cold. How could one possibly choose between these two evil, evil entities? As heinous as the cultural implications of Uggs are, however, they appear to be very warm. This is an unhappy conflict.
Two things: Snow encourages people to purchase boots. Spring sales encourage people to purchase boots. So that no one will be encouraged to buy Uggs, Bunnyshop would like to suggest the following snow-resistant boots — on sale and pleasingly un-annoying.
Lovely riding boots from Prada. Not that you’d let a horse anywhere near your $519 boots.
Equally tough, with a squarer toe. Wondering if squarer is a word. Miu Miu, $435.
Even tougher. These are boots that we’d give to Shane if we were costuming The L Word. Dolce & Gabbana, $559.
And finally, from our Project Runway judge, the Marley from Michael Kors. Check out the ultra-chunky heel. $143.
By the way, if you’re thinking something like, boy, that Bunnyshop sure is stupid, we’d never take our Prada boots in the snow, BS says, well, maybe so. But surely the best thing to do would be to wear them out, wear them crazy, wear them in hail, snow, floods, bullfights. It’s that “good china” argument. Good china is a bad idea.
Maybe you noticed the write-ups were a little shorter than usual. This is because the argument against Uggs should not need to be a lengthy one.
This is where we see how much stuff we could get from one store with an amount equal to the cost of our first car ($1400).
We’re pretty sure we could get a complete living room set. Because the thing is, we may love shopping, but we really hate spending one. Spending money in one place means you only have to put the credit card down once, which is psychologically pleasing, even if it’s a giant scam you’re playing on yourself.
We quite like Urban’s furniture selections. It’s like ten steps up, aesthetically, from most of what we see at vintage shops, and only like two steps up, price-wise.
Moving on:
Bunnyshop dreams of the day she will say to her friends, “Would you like to have a seat on my seating unit?” rather than “Would you like to sit on my drum stool? Or perhaps this lovely egg crate? Or we could sit side by side on my yoga mat!” Bunnyshop has a big empty space in her apartment where she dreams she will one day install a sofa — and this extremely reasonable option from Urban Outfitters would do just fine. $780.
Sorry this picture is so annoying — but you get the idea. We actually like the white one better, too. Sigh. We still love the chair. $220.
Bunnyshop has an antique chandelier in her apartment that her landlord warned her was not in the best of shape. She fears it will fall on her face as she sleeps. This one would make for a more than workable substitution. $98.
This fringe panel could be the kind of thing where you put the receipt in a very safe place, because even as you’re buying it, you’re realizing that you may hate it, very much and very soon. But we’d love to see if this could magically transform our studio into a one-bedroom, and allow us to go to sleep without being haunted by the specter of all those plates in our sink. $48.
This “wall art” screams Urban but we still like it. And if you squint you can make out a lion! $36.
Everyone needs a nice, normal bookshelf. This may be it. Will provide excellent storage for half-empty 20 oz. Diet Cokes, microwavable pot pie boxes, and scores of books we have yet to finish. $140.
That’s what we get for switching our (paltry) checking and (practically non-existent) savings accounts to another bank — available cash measured in coins. But someone, somewhere, needs to buy these ultra-reduced items from J. Crew. Now J. Crew, we know. Sometime soon, some clever filmmaker is going to do a scene with four middle-school girls sitting in a cafeteria with their J. Crew catalogue, discussing the validity of naming colors “cantaloupe” and “persimmon,” and that filmmaker will be hailed for nailing suburban adolescence, circa 1990. But the truth is they make terrific outerwear, and it’s now triple reduced.
Here’s a small story for your reading schadenfreude. Once upon a time, Bunnyshop interviewed for a summer internship with J. Crew. Now, as she had been one of those middle school girls trading periwinkle for jasmine, she wanted this internship more than she had wanted any internship in the history of time. The call did not come. The call did not come for many days, but Bunnyshop persisted, believing there was no way J. Crew could have interviewed a candidate more dedicated to J. Crew’s current and continued success than herself, and she left increasingly desperate voice mail messages on one miserable wretch of a woman’s answering machine for two weeks.
Bunnyshop went home to New Jersey, and spent the summer assisting 10-year-olds with the purchase of bicycle helmets.
We’re not going to hold it against J. Crew.
This dress is so Audrey Hepburn that Bunnyshop saw it and said to herself, “Wow. This dress is so Audrey Hepburn. Probably no one else was clever enough to pick up on that.” Then she saw its name, “Audrey strapless dress.” Sigh. Marked down from $195 to $129.95.
Cashmere for $59.95, down from $128? That’s fine with us. Consider it an investment in not being cold. Here’s another story: When Bunnyshop returned to her apartment after Christmas, it became clear that — as with the banking disaster — Bunnyshop mistimed the return of her bedding and was faced with a night lacking any sort of comforter, sheet, or towel. She slept in a black J. Crew cashmere sweater and survived intact.
Suede utility jacket. Would wear this every weekend from September to Christmas. Almost half off at $129.95
Flip flops! Okay, nothing special. But nothing special for $2.95 is special enough.
Warning! Do not delay! Even as Bunnyshop was typing she missed out on the furry-hooded toggle coat, and she is pissed.
- Reports from the Prada and Armani shows in Milan, plus an FWD story where Ms. Prada is referred to as “Miuccia” throughout
- Last-minute Project Runway previews here, here, here, and — shockingly — a Wendy defense here
- Ha! Fonzworth Bentley’s “Gentleman’s Movement” continues unabated with a new show on BET, co-hosted with America’s next Next Top Model, Eva Pigford: RIP THE RUNWAY. We’re assuming that’s “rip,” not, like, “rest in peace”
- Bunnyshop would like to admit that she just had to fix the spelling of F.B.’s name, which she had somehow convinced herself was “Farnsworth.” BS had missed the Happy Days shout-out of it all
Trench coats make us feel like we’re Dana Scully, it’s 1999, and millions of fan boys are in love with us. But it’s 2005, and these colors are even nicer. We’ll set about saving the world \ bearing alien children \ making out with David Duchovny presently.
Tocca makes the most beautiful coats we’ve ever seen. And we’re still in love with green. Before we box ourselves into rhyming this entire column, we’ll just say this one above costs $179.
We’re not slaves for Burberry but this coat is what we would wear if starring in our own remake of My Fair Lady. $750.
Rebecca Taylor can be a little frou for us, and we’re torn about the leopard detailing. But at the moment, we are pro-frou. And it’s pale yellow, not cream, and we’re thoroughly pro-yellow. $525.
This is such an excellent Kenneth Cole trench. Mesh lining means that we’re betting it doesn’t get sticky and hot inside. The color is the color of spring. $189.
And we love this option from Banana Republic. It’s lightweight. As perhaps is clear, we get stuffy in big coats. So lightweight is cool. And we mean that in more than one way. Ba-bing!
The whole aesthetic is just so, so pervy — enough underage girls in their underwear, fashion merchants of America! — but we’ll still buy American Apparel — and now, we present our favorite purchases in some sort of loose shout-out to, er, President’s Day. Is it weird that we think their advertising campaign is so gross and yet we love their clothes so much? Has American Apparel completely outsmarted us?
We want to put a picture here of the Hot Short, which is so excellent Bunnyshop actually hiked up a dress to show them to Honey Bear, but doing so would mean adding a picture of [an even more] nubile youngster in panties to her website, and that’s just too morally quease-making. $12.
We’ve read how AA wants to become, like, the Gap of the 21st century, and we support this, but don’t they have a long way to go? Seriously, all they make are t-shirts and various items made of cotton jersey. Where are the sweaters? Confusing.
Not confusing: we love this rainbow shirt, even if it fits a little like a loose, rainbow-striped sausage casing. $28.
We almost feel pervy putting up these shorts. Why does everything here look like it’s from the costume department of å Todd Solondz pedophilia movie? See how small they’re cut (natch) — we bought two sizes up, and they’re not quite so pervy. $20.
This shirt looks totally basic, but we saw it in a shop and came back every few days, trying it on and annoying the sales staff. It’s perfect in its own unique way. $29.
And finally, the gold standard of tank tops. Why would we blow the bank on James Perse when these satisfy us in every way, at $16? It’d be like trading in a thoroughly excellent boyfriend for a thoroughly excellent boyfriend who had the unfortunate habit of stealing cash out of your wallet.
- Snarky Jennifer Lopez runway report. It feels very 2002, just writing her name, but we appreciate the snark nonetheless. Mercury News registration required.
- The tragic end of As Four. You know how sometimes you don’t bring the wedding gift, so sure you are that the marriage isn’t going to last the year?
- The latest diffusion line, with Nicole Miller pimping — er, designing for JCPenney. We were going to make a joke about Michael Kors doing Sears, but he’s almost there already, isn’t he?
This is a picture of a riot. This is not an accurate visual representation of the Barney’s warehouse sale, but it does suggest the correct emotional tenor.
Like a twice-a-year Christmas for NYC shoppers, the Barney’s warehouse sale is equal parts myth, fact, and barfy crowd-control crisis. Here are some of today’s best buys:
So much Marc Jacobs. So much Marc Jacobs we’re wondering if any of it is actually selling at anything near retail. Including: a pink sueded cotton jacket marked down from $459 to $215; a pink slipdress with beaded arrow and heart marked down $348 to $165; and that MJ black coat with the metal buttons that would be awesome if it weren’t half a step from qualifying as the chicest marching band uniform overcoat ever, marked down to $255. Also the furry-hooded heavy duty winter coat, marked down $535 to $255.
Plenty of DVF print-y things, including a ruffled skirt half off at $89.
And oh dear, the most beautiful two Zac Posen dresses. The Ice Dress (left), marked down from $1600 to $250! And the Ripple Dress (right), marked down $3200 to $800. Sigh. Claire Danes, bah. Where are the designers who want Bunnyshop to be their muse? Jay McCarroll. Call us anytime, you brilliant thing, you.
Coats were just okay, cashmere was gorgeous if you don’t mind paying $200 for a sweater, and shoes, as always, were heartwarming. Including: Blue and white patent \ suede-y mix from Narciso Rodriguez, $580 to $230; pink silk Christian Louboutin, $625 to $250; and green silk Manolos with a strange metal cuff, $795 to $315.
We recovered from shopping hysteria with a shot of Diet Dr. Pepper and Jujubes and left happily empty-handed. We did see two topless girls. Why is the coat section at the Barney’s warehouse sale only slightly less naked than a locker room?
Bunnyshop was just reading about the post-Valentine’s Day suicide spike, for which she completely blames makers of greeting cards and television movies, and she realized that perhaps one solution to late-winter anxiety would be warmth. Even expensive warmth. Especially cashmere warmth.
The theme of the week, for some reason debuting on Friday, is stupid indulgences, or products we can’t afford and don’t need but would still love to own. For example, we don’t need this Brora cashmere blanket. We have wool blankets, and a $79.99 duvet from Macy’s. Even if we were going to spend $400 on something we didn’t need, it would maybe be a dog, or a single bar of gold, or a moon rock. But this gorgeous, gorgeous blanket. Someday, like the moon rock, it will, without a doubt, be ours, and we will wrap its happy stripes around our shoudlers and pat our dog’s head as we stroke our single bar of gold, and all will be right with the world.
We love these the way we love design-savvy restaurants with vintage French school maps on the walls.
First, from La Voleuse, their “Literate Handbags,” with smart bows and ribbons. The site says they’re unavailable, but the last time we stopped by the amazing Forward, a few were left — and they were on sale.
Next up, from Ex-Libris Anonymous, these adorable $11 blank notebooks, one-of-a-kinds made from actual vintage books. These are what we would have carried around in middle school if we’d been more cool \\ less weepy \\ less concerned with stalking Knight Rider-era David Hasselhoff. Bunnyshop would like to add here that she only ranked as the secretary of the DH Fan Club, so intense was his fan base at the Crim Elementary School.
